It’s been a month since you left me for the other girl.
I spent three weeks lying on the floor.
The beer bottles are still scattered under my bed,
And my clothes smell still like alcohol.
I still look out of my window pane,
Hoping to see that smile which can erase my pain.
It’s been three months since you left me as you were tired of my love.
I have started coming out of my silent temper,
And started smiling more and this time for real,
I often leave my little suffocated room
To feel the freshened weather.
When I’m back home I look at all those pictures of us,
And burst into tears in the darkened room filled with your memories and pessimistic passion.
It’s been six months since you left saying I was too clingy.
I cry lesser and I re learned to laugh like before,
I am slowly finding myself from amidst the paths of misery.
The tempest in me is sober and warm,
The colors in me have slowly returned.
Yet, I look at my phone still waiting for a call,
Still wondering what went so wrong.
It’s been ten months since you left me after your infidelity was caught.
I met a new man right down the same coffee shop,
The one where we promised to go together but never really could,
Because I was too blind to see the lies,
And you were too clever to conceal the truth.
I thought about all those moments we shared,
When he smiled at me from across the room.
It’s been a year since you left me after that dreadful fight.
I have met a new man, oh yes, I told you so.
The scars you left are too deep for me to trust another man.
But he makes me laugh till late at night,
And builds me up, slowly fading you from my mind.
My heart is still distracted by your thoughts,
But, slowly, I know it will heal too.
It’s been a year and two months since you left for reasons unknown.
He made love to me last night in his sweet, tender moans.
It was beautiful but your face was all I thought about,
Your face that so clearly I remember,
How you cringed your face in elation or breathed on my skin in exasperation.
He knows I’m still holding on to the history you and I shared even if I’ve never told him so,
He knows yet always loves me back and gestures with loving kisses on my sorrows.
Its been a long time since you left me in despair,
He and I got married today.
I never think much about you anymore,
Then why did you come to my head,
When I said “I do” over the aisle while I was with him instead.
It’s been forever since you left me hollow from within.
I have had grandkids and I’m dug deep under the ground,
My soul wandering till infinity still searching for answers,
Answers to question I could never ask or have the courage to know.
But what still puts my long lifeless heart in notion,
Is wondering if even for a second you felt like i did,
Or was it just me all along?